...A bit of a chaotic week. Three times I attempted to make an entry and three times I failed. Somehow it was hard to talk about Dir en grey.Anyway...Friday. As some of us may have noticed in the morning, they set up the scanner system and were having people test it out. The machine looked no different from the thing you swipe to get food in the cafeteria, so it wasn't too intimidating or anything like that at all. People've made way too much of a fuss over this. And the extremely funny thing here is that I was actually the first one who tested it, because I was the first student who "sneaked" into the school before the security guards even started letting students in. How did that happen?
A limited people saw me freak out on Thursday. As in, truly, totally, for a few seconds, losing all composure and really on the point of collapsing in a heap on the floor tearing hair out and clawing the face bloody and all that. I've never freaked out in my life before, ever. Apparently I had totally forgotten that the deadline to register for AP exams was noon of that day...and the announcement Ms. Damasek made at the end of third period, reminding us of that fact, totally threw me into a frenzy. All I remember is Zhu grasping my hands at one point in the halls and wouldn't let go, trying to keep me steady or something, and said I still have two hours to sign up on a school computer and make up some excuse to Damasek about the check. Which is what I did...in a shaky way. People in the library were directing worried looks at me as I snapped a freshie off a computer, and the ladies in that office were hiding smirks and exchanging glances with each other while telling me I can still bring in my check/registration the following day at eight o'clock sharp.
I got up at six in the morning on Friday. Since I don't have first period, that was a whole hour or hour-and-half earlier than my usual time. Practically dashing out of the subway and sprinting to the bridge (even though it was 7:45), I saw that big crowd of people waiting on the bridge... I walked around, talked with random people I knew, and realized I'd totally forgotten that we have a half-day that day...meaning first period wouldn't start until 8:20. And then Jimmyn showed up, said something, and in my panic I heard "they do not let you in until after eight..." and that almost made me panic again. So, when that blind tech teacher was making his way through the crowd of students at the bridge entrance and opening the door, I slipped right in with him. I started talking with the security guard about how I absolutely have to hand in my papers to Ms. Damasek before eight, and he pointed out that she's right there--only then I turned and saw what was apparently the scanner on the other side of the hall.
Damasek: Hey...are you a student?
Jing: Yes, I--
Damasek: Come over here and swipe your ID card for us.
Mr. Wong: Don't worry, we are just checking to see whether this works.
3rd teacher: And hey, you'll have the honor of being the first one.
All three teachers: Hehehehe...
...Yeah. It was settled soon after that Damasek would accept my late registration, but as kind of a late punishment I have to sort papers in her office a couple of days this coming week. I don't mind, I don't mind at all...this could have ended up being much, much worse. And I think I must had Zhu pretty worried judging by how he was asking me online and in school whether I was fine Thursday and Friday. Whoo...
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I don't particularly enjoy the thought and action of cutting off contact with any particular persons...but it looks like certain things must be done. Don't you hate it whenever things reach a no-return point? I don't even know why or how I always get there, with virtually every one of them.yuuzora (3:47:37 PM): So I look at her and hear her whimperings about her weight (out of all the problems you could have in life), and then I look at myself and ask, "Jing, what the heck on earth are you doing? What the heck on earth DID you do to land yourself in all these stupid situations?"
yuuzora (3:48:00 PM): What happened with W? Phil? Jason? Everyone?
yuuzora (3:48:16 PM): It's ridiculous...
yuuzora (3:48:26 PM): You don't see other people with this type of problems.
yuuzora (3:48:36 PM): Why is it just me?
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:49:32 PM): I have perfectly fine relationships with them because I stay outta their business yet I also inquire about their happiness everyday.
yuuzora (3:50:17 PM): How exactly do you "stay out of" someone's business? The line there could be ever so thin...
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:50:20 PM): I leave myself outta their lives yet I still care about how they feel and everything.. you should do that too..
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:51:35 PM): for Phil.... I don't care about him at all yet I still hang around the 4th floor people and he's there....and just yesterday, we had lunch with the others and stuff....all's well.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:52:30 PM): ...and as fer Jason, I always asked if he's feeling alright and he just simply smiles and feels happy that I asked... yet, I don't follow him everywhere and constantly ask about how he feels
yuuzora (3:53:42 PM): Ugh. It's wrong to say I follow him everywhere. We've been through this.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:53:42 PM): .........and W......AHAHAHHAHA!!! funny..... I just sit at his table with some other friends....and then I do my daily ritual of teasing him and Lance and that other dude.... and I say "hi" whenever I see him...and the rest, I don't care at all..
LeChatNOIRetMoi (3:53:49 PM): it's that simple
yuuzora (4:17:21 PM): What in the world...
yuuzora (4:17:25 PM): That's so messed up.
yuuzora (4:18:20 PM): How did I end up in this slump, anyway?
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:18:27 PM): I dunno
yuuzora (4:18:31 PM): Obviously it's all caused by me. I know that.
yuuzora (4:18:33 PM): But still...
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:18:41 PM): we do similar things, right?
yuuzora (4:18:54 PM): To some extent...YES, WE DO. WTF.
yuuzora (4:18:55 PM): T_T
yuuzora (4:30:42 PM): God, in a way...yuuzora (4:30:55 PM): They are all filthy people. All of them; all of us.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:31:18 PM): I know
yuuzora (4:31:24 PM): There are moments when I feel I can hate them all. But way more common are the times when I love yet feel I can stab them to death at the same time.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:31:30 PM): but I think of them in a different way now
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:32:57 PM): I think they are all good people trying to get on with their lives
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:33:08 PM): I love everyone
yuuzora (4:33:42 PM): I seem a destroyer of interpersonal relationships. Except, of course, I destroy no one's but my own.
yuuzora (4:35:40 PM): Do you find it funny I do all these things and act this way and that?
yuuzora (4:35:49 PM): Wait, I shouldn't ask that. Of course you do.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:36:13 PM): AHAha..
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:36:19 PM): no..I don't find it funny
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:42:46 PM): actually, I do think we do the same things yet in different ways
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:43:01 PM): I have my way of doing things, you have yours
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:43:24 PM): it's just that some people see your way as intruding, I dunno why
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:48:34 PM): people like seeing me happy
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:48:41 PM): and they get happy too
yuuzora (4:49:00 PM): Well, people see me happy and they run the other way.
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:49:48 PM): it is scary though
LeChatNOIRetMoi (4:49:58 PM): you scared me when you were so happy
yuuzora (4:50:08 PM): -_-;
...Her ass looks deformed.
