[365-81]

Still nowhere near the positive side of the spectrum, but looks like yesterday was a definitive rock-bottom, meaning the only direction possible today was...up. "Better."

[365-80] Vanitas

Inevitable, when something so looked-forward-to comes to pass without a beat of pause. Especially so when people long missed return for just one day of celebration, and then disappear again without a trace as soon as the clock strikes twelve. Even if, here, it is still the 30th...in Asia it is done.

I have never been good at partings. Why did I open myself up ripe for this known vulnerability?

The only thing that remains is love, love thicker than blood, love that gathered us to meet in the first place.




Who are these people?

How did they come to mean the world to me?

Who am I?

Even touching the pen was an immense struggle today. Why do I do this? All I remember is a promise. Even if...

I love you with all the living force of my existence.



Happy birthday.

[365-79] 2013.05.30

If you go

I'll be there

[365-78]

Quick eyes.

[365-77]

Depth and value practice.

[365-76] That's gross, grandma

[365-75] .....

Random game of throwing BB into your typical spring/summer clothes. I died before I could finish.

[365-74] Hair Exchange n

Taking things easy since endlessly admiring the last one is still eating up a chunk of my time. WHY IS IT NOT THE 30TH YET SO I CAN SHARE THIS BABY ALREADY I WANT THE WORLD TO BASK WITH ME

Unrelatedly, bought a 3DS XL and Zero Escape just came in today. ふふふふふ。。。

[365-73] Final adjustments

Minor, but still kind of critical I guess. Also I fell asleep.

[365-72] I'm...finished?

WTF it got done so ahead of schedule I don't even know what to make of this. Anyway, holding off on releasing the full image until 5.30 rolls around... This is probably a very wise move that I had never previously given myself the chance to make. Usually I'm mass-publishing on all outlets as soon as I catch the first hint of feel that it's done.

[365-71]

There are surprisingly many CGI scar references online for wounds inflicted by all kinds of weapons. Unbelievably helpful, but need to figure out how to make it look more...natural?

[365-70] Burn

"Kyo was hospitalized on 5/13 for a fever caused by tonsillitis. Doctors issued him bed rest, but he insisted on performing at the 5/16 show while running a 104° fever, sustained by IVs. He was drifting in and out of delirium throughout performance, yet stood against staff's intervention to cut the live short. He was holding on by sheer willpower and finally passed out right after the show's end. Kyo was once again rushed to the ER and this time, doctors mandated that he absolutely must get rest. The tour's next show on 5/24 is therefore postponed." (translated from source)

Please. We love you. Stop.
Even if you are the type to think life is meaningless if you ever do stop. Even if you...

We love you.

-

Abs are difficult and this is majorly embarrassing. That torso needs to be so beautiful that people cease to notice missing arms.

[365-69]

So many anatomy kinks to iron out it's almost painful. Kanon's face is my only support in pushing forward.

[365-68]

Progress keeps getting stalled by my being unable to stop smiling at Kanon. I can't ask for a better problem to have. Nothing beats this feeling of inspiration and motivation suddenly rushing back all at once because of something I made.

Set to Kaiba's opening theme. Even the lyrics fit too, ho my god.

[365-67]

Once again grappling with the mammoth task of birthing a face consistent with my ideal of him(them), and I fell asleep.

Kyo is sick again...

[365-66] Flood

“那不是对一个亲人，朋友，或者恋人的感情，任何一种单纯的感情都无法囊括那复杂的爱，那是一个人全部生命的感情，深深切切，至死不渝。” - excerpt from 《天涯》 by 瞳话

It isn't so much about losing passion than, in fact, losing direction and simple forgetfulness. Why did they moved me so deeply down in the first place? How was I cut this deep? How did I even come to hold my perspective of this Hamlet?

I can't believe I haven't read the above classic until now. Thank you, 瞳话前辈. Thank you for giving him those words. Thank you for the tears.

But whenever I am overrun with torrential feels of this caliber, I find I am too immobilized to draw.

-

"It was not a simple, singular feeling held toward any relative, friend, or lover. No categorize-able emotion can translate or approximate this kind of love, into which he siphoned his entire living existence.* Fervent, fervid, ablaze 'til death."

*I need a paragraph to translate this shit but I have no fucking words. Ended up falling asleep from the straining. カノン。。

[365-65] Links

Apparently I'm not the only one desperately struggling in the wake of approaching Gemini month. I'm getting the weirdest urges.

[365-64]

Live to _______. All I...

サガよ。。

[365-63] Hair Exchange 11

Here and there and everywhere.

[365-62]

Preparation officially begins. Burn, my love.

[365-61] Frame-to-frame

How much I need to learn is almost overwhelming.

[365-60] Hair exchange 10.4

Wait what I actually cleaned this up??! Now to just fix his fucking face...

[365-59] Hair exchange 10

Shion's hair is basically the twins' hair on fucking steroids. Aphro is basically Griffith with lipstick. Camus I basically didn't touch.

[365-58] Angle lesson

[365-57]

So many fucking kinks to iron out. For instance, why does this thing keep on looping? I clearly saved it as a non-looping gif. Ugh.

[365-56]

The more I create, the more I realize I don't actually know how to create anything.

[365-55] Learning Flash

...And I must scream. Can this learning curve require any less activation energy? Why the hell does it do this.

[365-54] Hair exchange 9

lol fuck the details, I just want to churn them all out already. Camus is beyond recognition without those eyebrows...gotta fix that shit fast.

[365-53] Hair exchange 8

Didn't have energy beyond some simple copy/pasting and playing with sliders. Almost...there.

[365-52]

Strange things happen.

[365-51]

Torsos torsos torsos.