Dev 01

 

Started in oekaki, finished in Photoshop. One day I'll figure out what to do with you

Spring, Ranunculus

 

Kind of unrelated and already (feeling like sort of) old news

But the greater key moment/feeling here is... Such stir, inside. It has been a while, has it not...? Antsy, restless, bloom

春よ、夢うつつ

 

Edit 4/30/22:

Upgraded boot disk to a 1Tb SSD, swapped in a new power source, and upgraded to liquid cooling with Ceres's help. Fun little excursion spread over two weekends, never seen Weijia this animated or talkative 😂 It was good to see Brownie and Big Eyes again, too

Good stuff to mark Anameleth's 6th birthday (birth month, rather), all in all.

ingma Oekaki

Feels so good to fool around, even if it's just this. Something better than nothing, small steps.

Freedom

Because physical reality is a joke.

I should make a goal of making at least one personal piece a week, because otherwise there really is no end to how much I get consumed by homework.

Minerva

What is depth?

What is value?

Gemini

"If I'm gone, will you follow?"

"Mhm."

"But you never came."

"And you've never gone."

"That's because the one who always leaves is you."

"If you go, I'll be there."

"Liar."

"Let go. I'm not leaving."

"Liar! I know you'll disappear as soon as I even open my eyes. No way I'm letting go."

"Go. Live on."

"...What about you?"

"If you go...I'll be there."

Hard pixelated pressure-controlled opacity edge

 

Remembered that I very well liked certain aspects of ChibiPaint, even more than SAI.

The Dandy Garbage Man

And I thought Underworld's handling of the subject matter was masterful enough. Gemini catapults it straight into the realm of ingenious. Keep on keeping on, Monsieur Alex.

Something NOT Saint Seiya? WTF

I surprise even myself. Hello, PaintBBS. Long time no fucking see, default colors. And how can I possibly forget you, animations?

But if anything, I feel one thing I've definitely improved upon since those years is a certain taste for value. Therefore, thanks to easy adjustments:

These are how I like things now.

A new oekaki board

Try me.

Fujou is gone, Skylands is gone, and fearsome is slower than a crawl. Oekaki seems to be a thing of 2003. Yet...now, in this age, I have a board. In beta, yes, with limited features, yes, seemingly without even basic options such as changing board-wide template, yes. But...

I wonder.

Depraved indifference

Quick doodle by mouse with all messiness covertly disguised to look like they're intended. All one layer on PaintBBS, 1 hour exact, see animation.

I stand by all previous statements re: mouse vs. tablet. Mouse can and should be able to achieve similar levels of work as any tablet, only at a slower rate. The only limitation lies in drawing freehand lines in one stroke, but even a tablet doesn't always get that down as smoothly as one can on paper, so that's a moot point. Also because of the time/patience issue with mouse, less effort tends to be exerted (especially post-exposure to tablet use)...and laziness is forever a human element that shouldn't be blamed on the tools.

GUILTY NONCHALANCE

Mood Exercise

With the theme of dream scapes. First was a frustrated 40-ish minutes in Chibi Paint @ fearsome that left me pretty pissed because it was going nowhere. Second two were done successively in SAI, each coming faster and easier and more relaxing than the last. AND IT FELT LIKE I COULD KEEP GOING FOREVAR, YOU KNOW, EXCEPT IT'S NOW BEDTIME.

I LOVE YOU PAINT TOOL SAIII AS IF ANY MORE CONFIRMATION WAS NEEDED <333 br="">


===



EDIT: ...And apparently these are the side effects of a midnight stress-free color-throwing bonanza promoting the full outflow of information rather than that traditional bottling-it-all-up-and-forget-about-it approach:

- Waking up (without an alarm) at 6:30 AM feeling fully rested/awake/unable to go back to sleep
- Blasting this and this at full volume on repeat to wake neighbors up
- Chugging gummy worms/bears until mouth/throat feels like a fucking desert (takes around half a pound)
- TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SPS WHOOOO

NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE

Well, isn't this kind of embarrassing...it's already February. I'll turn into Slowpoke at this rate. :D WHICH IS WHY I THINK IT A GOOD IDEA TO POAST SHIT THAT I BELIEVE IS FOUND NOWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNETS (or at least haven't had much exposure at ALL)...DATING TO VERY DAMNED OLD INDEED. LIKE, PRE-STUY, PRE EVEN TINA OLD. Point and laugh at your leisure. I don't really suppose I'm feeling all that correct tonight, given what has been drawn and poasted here earlier just now. Crap crap crap.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold Jing's first digital work (OH MS PAINT) ever:
December 26, 2002. And then,

January 25, 2003. In case people can't read. I suppose date isn't really relevant past those two, but I'll try my hardest to keep things chronological. (It's like 3AM right now, leave me alone.)

July 17, 2004. First time I ever went to Ohio, between freshman and sophomore year. I stayed with my dad for two weeks and had literally nothing better to do all day except soaking everything in Half Price Books into the marrow of my bones. I was up to CoT (book 10 of the WoT) back then...for the first time. And, for whatever reason, I decided to slap an Aiel (EXACT IDENTITY SPOILER-CENSORED) and Ayami Kojima together. I believe the notes are actually my plotting out how I'd have it as an oekaki. >_>; Of course it did happen, and of course it kind of phail'd, and of course I'm not about to show you that just now. Dig through fujou at thy own risk.

March 18, 2005. "Ganelon." One of those unfinished pieces on Goddess that is now lost in oblivion. Other than the ridiculously unfitting head, I think the anatomy is still something to be proud of from back then. Another thing I was very pleased with was the water effect. Too bad I haven't gone back to it much, if at all.

June 28, 2005. "Durga." Haah, back when I still believed in mousing my lines. Castlevania AoS monster influence...though to be technically correct, I had the color scheme of Kali (mistranslated as "Curly" in the game) in mind. Jing's first rather voluptuous figure, except for the ridiculously thin waist that also happens to be off. I think one thing in common with all the shittles I'm poasting here is that I'm HEAVILY inclined to go back to every single one of these and make them RIGHT, or COMPLETE. >=/ Except I never do.

January 23, 2006. "Stalk." Jing gets Open Canvas from teh rora. 8D I remember being extremely amazed by its "pressure sensitivity" available for mouse, and this was exclusively playing around with that.

December 2, 2006. "Water." ...And then I became incredibly guilty-feeling for a while for having something other than Oekaki and yet never using it to make something more serious. =/ I suppose this was my favorite out of all those other half-assed attempts. Very nice...texture. The one thing I perhaps miss about OpenCanvas. Then again, I'm sure at least one of Artweaver's brushes can achieve similar effects, and I'm suffering from the same symptom of never getting around to seriously play with it. @_@


Speaking of water, I missed one. D: ANACHRONISM LE GASP September 3, 2005. I've made several attempts to recreate this nice atmosphere through the years, but something is always off and eventually given up. Perhaps it's the hand-drawn Paint BBS white 1-pixel water color texture...or perhaps it's the pond. Simple, but apparently impossible to reproduce. XD I still remember that day: Jing scraping her little toe against the wall against all odds, and rora asking her out to windowshop at that exact moment or so. Trying on skirts on 86th Street. Dropping by my mother's store and catching her very, very surprised. At me, at a friend, at my bloody toe.


...Moving on.



May 20, 2007. "Mu." (And originally with Shaka in mind on the right...except the resemblance is so terrible his name didn't end up making it into the title at all. *tear?*) I remember when I was madly obsessed with crazy face angles at one point. The pointing-down period didn't last all that long...but here's my reminder. 8D Also my single Saint Seiya fanart...and a pairing, no less??!! OMFG what. Where's my Soma x Genya? T_T




January 28, 2008. "Rip." (As in, Rip Van Winkle. As in, HELLSING.) I have a very vague impression that I may have shown this to Jarek during one of our very earliest days back then. (2008? Le GASP!) In fact, I think I scanned it at all because Jarek said he wanted to see what I doodled. Hmm. In any case, special because it's perhaps the first Hellsing-related thing drawn since freshman year. That is, the OTHER freshman year...the special one. At Stuy.

Four years into the future...



March 9, 2008. Title as indicated. I just noticed the dates I've been using in this post are dates shown on the computer...meaning the day I scanned, or the day I last modified. Which can mean a lot of them are off and age a mystery unless it's a signed sketch. Hoo... -_-; Anyway. Boredom during tutoring of that Korean girl. There's been more, but she usually whisks away the originals...I think including this one. Scanned and thus saved because I actually liked it and had bothered with references. This I should definitely do more often. Also BOOBIES


April 13, 2008. And MOAR HIPS AND BOOBIES 8D INDEED Like, Oh, my gwad!~ *heart heart heartle much?

(In actuality, I believe this was the first thing I actually drew with my tablet. By which I mean it's not a bunch of squiggly lines and my name written over and over in various pressures and all that goodness. YES I KNOW THERE ARE STILL SQUIGGLY LINES IN THERE BUT UH THEY ARE QUITE THE ARTFUL DON'T YOU AGREE? I LOVE YOU LAVENDER CURVES)





...The end.

SPRING TERM OMFGWTFBBQasdfghjkl;!111111one

-image edited by yuuzora -

Erm, contradictory to what I guess most people would expect, this entry of mine will not actually be revolving largely around the subject of W. Instead...I suppose there are things that must be mentioned of Jing's freshie fwend that was previously left unsaid.

But first things first--Jing's actual program this spring so wonderful:

1. free
2. Late American Literature, Ms. Kincaid, 1025
3. PreCal, Mr. Geller, 437
4. lunch
5. Health, Ms. Weinwurm, 513
6. Gym A, Mr. Clemmons
7. Physics, Mr. Thomas, 835
8. AP Spanish, Ms. Montserrat, 740
9. U.S. History, Ms. Burnell, 305
10. ZT10 (the official free left open for sports team)

I think I'll save the actual rantings/impressions/complaints on and about my old and new teachers for some other time. The only thing that bothers me here, now, is the fact that the "myth" of the spring term is...broken. It was something I didn't even realize existed until eighth period today, when I knew for a fact I wasn't going to have an actual class with W, for the first time, during a spring. Well, technically speaking, we still have first free and he has gym free during my lunch, but free periods are not, sadly, what I need.

And then we ask: Well, where does Jason come in play admidst all this?

Let's rewind a bit, to the first couple of days of the fall term some four or five months back: Hyo and Jing freshly moved into the seats next to each other in physics, and had just walked out of the class together at the end of fifth. Approaching the eighth floor atrium toward the escalator, Jing halted Hyo to a stop, and pointed out to her the "Mini-Brother-W" she has been noticing since the first day of school. As we happened to be standing pretty close, and Jing had had the confidence of Hyo grabbing on to her for support, I gave the poor startled freshie a punch square on the shoulder out of nowhere.

Freshie: *gives a jump, jolts around*
Hyo: *also gives a jump, and immediately starts nagging Jing along the lines of "WHAT ON EARTH SORT OF AN APPROACH WAS THAT?! BLAHBLAH"*
Jing: *sort of ignoring Hyo and is busy smirking at the kid...I guess with the famous "8D" face* Hey...
Freshie: *looks nervously from Jing to Hyo to Jing, somewhat decides that he was punched by accident, and is about to turn around to leave/flee*
Jing: *grabs him by the arm* Wait! What's your name?
Freshie: Uh...Jason? *shiftily glancing between Jing and Hyo, looking as if he's really about to bolt now*
Hyo: *in between smacking/pulling Jing away and repeatedly telling her that she's scaring him too much and should better leave him alone, blahblah*
Jing: *half-yelling as is being dragged off by Hyo* Okay...do you happen to be associated with anyone by the name of Willis in this school?
Jason: Uh...no? *sort of watches as Jing's noggin disappears behind the wall down the escalators* ...

And then we fastforward past all the parts where Jing got to know him better, Chet and Soo got to know him better, Chet decided he wants to make the kid think he's out there to wape him, etc. Now this was the second to last day of the fall term...during fourth period lunch. This was the famous relation-changing talk we had that I remember mentioning in passing...but never really talked about. Soo had gym that day; it was just me sitting at some random boring table before I spotted him and went on to jump right at him as the habit goes. It was truly remarkable how he spoke before I did, and blatandly started on this specific subject out of nowhere.

Jason: Who is W?

Of course, I was quite surprised that he'd asked this frankly. It wasn't a subject I had on mind to go in to detail telling him, anyway; I pretended to not know what he's talking about.

"Don't you remember? I showed him to you the other day."

Jason: Well, yeah. I mean I guess I've seen who he physically is, but I'm asking who he has been as a person. Particularly, who he has been to you, how he's been related to you, and most importantly, why are you stalking everyone who reminds you even in the least bit of him. Like, what do you want of me and Phil, anyway? What did you ever expect to get out of us?

It's an understatement to say he'd surprised me and had taken me unaware. I figured at any time I can always easily pull something together to satisfy his curiosity on Brother W and be done with that; I wasn't too worried with him knowing a thing or two about his related "clone". But what almost made me lose my footing was the fact he had mentioned Ph--

"You...talked with Phil." I could barely make that sound like a question.

Jason: *pauses, looks at Jing for a while* Maybe.

It took me a while to realize that unlike Chet (who uses "maybe" all-too-frequently to cover up a guilty "yes"), Jason here was using the word to drag out his "advantage" over me for as long as possible. He was quick to sniff out the dread I felt at the thought that he might have even remotely approached the incoming soph, and he understood the upper edge in this convo will be his for as long as he can keep me under that fear. But before I figured this out and was still on the verge of trembling from my uncertainty, he'd pulled a chair over for me to sit in, and pulled another one for himself as well. (Ironically, the seat he sat me in was one that belonged to the special-ed people, complete with armrests and whatnot.) Oh god, I thought. The kid means business.

"You have to understand I don't really stalk you. Or Phil, really, for that matter. Or even if I remotely somewhat do, it's nothing close to what I do for W."

Jason: So what am I?

"To tell you the truth...I suppose you've been something more like a pet."

Jason: A pet?

Too late, I realized that was sort of the wrong thing to say. But by this time I must have realized he couldn't have talked to or approached Phil in any way or form, or else I couldn't have summoned the confidence to say what I remember saying next.

"Well, if you don't like it, I guess you can pick between either that, or being stalked. You'd prefer to be stalked?"

Jason: ...*meekly, weakly, mumbly* Yes.

That wasn't really what I expected. "I guess you really don't like the idea of being a pet, huh... Does it make you feel better to know, then, that you've more or less come to be a friend in your own right since a long time ago? I stopped thinking of you as a mini of W as soon as maybe a week or two after knowing you."

Jason: *looking pensive* Well, okay. But you still haven't told me about this W. Do you not know his real name, at the very least?

"Willis. I had asked you on the very first day I approached you. But I guess you didn't pay all that much attention to details I let slip back then than you do now."

Jason: ...What did happen between you two? You mentioned "since two years ago" a lot; that means freshman year second term for you. What happened then? You use the word "since". I'm guessing that's when you first met him.

"Go on." He wasn't disappointing me with his observation skills; at this point, I was rather getting mildy amused or even excited at him retelling his version of the history of W to me. There certainly was no more fear or worry concerning Phil; I'm left free to enjoy this as much as I dare.

Jason: Something must have happened, or else you wouldn't be this way now.

"I actually don't quite think I know what happened."

Jason: But you must know. There's no way you can't know. You must at least have an opinion or an interpretation of what happened.

"But this type of opinion is the exact type you cannot trust. Not when it comes from you yourself."

Jason: Something big had happened that freshman year second term. It somewhat survived through the summer, but started dying away at the begining of sophomore year.

"Spring term, Jason, spring term. You forget how often I mumble that even to myself. For two years we followed the same pattern of barely knowing each other in the fall but rebuilding in the spring. I'm on the verge of assuming this year would be the same."

Jason: Never assume anything.

"I'm not. I'd like to think I know better than to hope for anything."

Jason: But surely you've had an idea of where the whole thing has been going? Even if this next term goes as you hope it would, you have to remember there's only one more year left for you. What do you want by the end of that?

"I guess I've been trying to do something."

Jason: Well, apparently you haven't been trying enough. Not much has happened overall, has it? Or else you wouldn't be chasing after people like me. Or Phil.

"I don't know what I want from this."

Jason: Of course you do. You've been after it for two years; there's only that much time left. You are not doing enough.

"I know that part. So do a lot of people who know me and him. But believe me when I say I really don't know what I want."

Jason: Try harder.

"You sound like every other person I know who want to help me--and I'm sure they do, to some degree or other--but everyone is entertained by my whole experience in the end."

Jason: You can be sure I don't find any of this funny.

I look at him. "So what do you think?"

Jason: I find it...scary. The way you go about it, I guess, judging simply by the way you treat me, I think I can almost understand W.

Frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you, you don't remind me of him any more? You are like a friend or whatever in your own right." And it happened that the bell rang, just then. We we both saved from each other, I suppose.

Jason: Okay. Just remember, nothing is sure. Don't expect so much from the spring, either. You may be well disappointed.

Fastforward again to the present... There is no sense in blaming Jason for simply saying that. It's not like he cursed me or anything. This very morning on the train to the school...I was sick with worry as I juggled thoughts of my history grade from the fall term and my new program. I decided that for once, it's about time I try everything in my power to pull up that dreadful average of mine; never in my life have I ever worked to my full potential in terms of academics, and it's about time I change that (or at least try to). As soon as that thought entered my head, it's as if I'm offered a vision and a choice of two paths that lay in front of me: down one, I have a lavish program overfilled with classes-ful of W; down the other, I see very little of him...but will be then able to concentrate more on my new goal of finally setting out to get godly numbers in my report card without so much of a distraction. I chanted in my head, I was sick in my stomach, and I told myself I'd rather see very little of W if it would mean I get good teachers/grades to undo the horrible grades I'd gotten in the fall.

I think I understand now what they mean when people say, be careful of what you wish for.

Regardless, even W must have mentally prepared himself to the overexposal that never even came. Today as he had gym free and sat at that table in lunch...he didn't seem to mind too much at having me at the same table already (by which I mean he didn't pack up and scramble for dear life, but instead stayed calmly until the end of the period, largely ignoring my presence). I suppose this long, pointless-for-most-other-people entry helped me convince myself that I do not regret anything. Senior year...we'll see what happens senior year.

-

Phil cut the first day of school. Only he would do such a pointless and troublesome thing. Only him.

Brian/Fookie was telling me, during gym-free today, that he was at the school ice skating thing. Apparently, he was there all by himself, lacking friends or anyone to hang out with, but was incredibly good at skating. Usual attire, Fookie claims, and was probably there for the pure purpose of checking out the girls. Ha, ha...

-

Jason has always been a nice yet confusing kid. He literally runs from people he knows that I know (i.e. mostly Chet, Soo, and perhaps Waymond), yet he doesn't run at the sight of me. And sometimes he will fake (with extremely good acting skills, nevertheless) into a full panic when I first approach him, only to come back five seconds later to say hi or chatter whatever he has to say. We haven't touched the subject of W or anything of the like since that last time. But then again...I suppose there has been no need.

When he saw we both have fourth free again, today, when we were just walking in to the cafeteria, he walked headlong into one of the doors and bumped his noggin. I laughed at him. I petted his hair a lot. I was yet surprised that later, as I climbed up the stairs to physics and didn't see him coming down, he stopped, waved, and kept waving almost in my face until I did see him. I had to chuckle.

He's sort of like Chet in the sense he looks better/prettier the longer you know him. He's a very adorable child.

The nine sons of Dijun

The sons of Dijun were known to be nine suns...

Shun from the rest of the world by their mother, Hexi, they are confined at their residence of a giant yew tree rooted in the depths of the sea for the greatest part of their life. Each day, at the first cry of the crow, Hexi would watch as one of her sons board a golden carriage drawn by eight stallions of fire coached by two henchmen take off. All day, she will watch attentively the path of light her son leaves across the length of the sky, until eventually, when he has traveled a full cycle, the carriage brings him back, diving into the waves of the ocean and leaving behind a mortal world now shrouded in the darkness of night.

Thus came one night, when Hexi was fast asleep, the youngest of the nine voiced his miseries as a prisoner of their very parents, being allowed out of the yew tree only once in nine days and even then, only under the watchful eye of their mother. It was then proposed that all nine should escape that night at once, to have a bit of a fun in the sky they so longed to fly and conquer with their own wings.

Suddenly, the peaceful slumber of the mortal world was driven out by a light like no other, an intense heat and agitation like no other. People jumped out of their beds to hastly seal doors, curtains, anything that would keep out the light--only to find out it is better to become simply blinded rather than to be baked alive. Out of options, they tied shades around their eyes, and walked out their houses to discover plants--including their precious crops--withering before their very eyes; their wells were quickly becoming dry, and even nearby streams and rivers were evaporating into nothing, leaving behind stranded fish twitching in place.

Already Dijun had received the news, and has dispatched one of his most trusted warrior-deities, Houyi, to distract and possibly scare his sons into returning to their dwelling at the yew tree. Houyi, armed with a bow of heavy gold and nine golden arrows, descended into the mortal world.

He was greeted by a dying crowd: the leader, an elderly woman barely able to support herself on her cane, opened her mouth to plead assistance, but no sound came out of her dry throat. Houyi then looked up, and what greeted his eyes better than the sight of nine golden orbs of light, shooting around in the sky and having the time of their life? Greatly saddened, he drew his first arrow and shot just as Dijun had ordered, attempting to shock the sons back into the protection of the sea--but lo! Was that arrow ignored like a mere fly?!

Finally losing her balance, the elder had collapsed to the ground...

And thus Houyi decided to place the lives of people above the orders of Dijun, drawing a second arrow and aiming, this time, straight at one of the nine--
And thus the brother plunged, leaving a burning trail of fire in the sky, marking the trail of his fall... He was a golden crow.

The remaining eight suns shot into a panic, zooming around in a now even greater frenzy but still refusing to go anywhere near the surface of the sea. Clenching his teeth in dread and despair, Houyi shot his seven remaining arrows, one by one.

-

Dijun's punishment, at the loss of eight sons, was to banish Houyi and his wife, Change, down to the mortal world that they so loved to live the remainder of their life as humans, ordinary farmers. Change, however, did not wish to submit herself to this lowly life and eventually became the Lone Lady of the Moon, joining the Rabbit there. But that, perhaps, would be another tale for another time.

===

Animated Paint BBS, three hours.
See animation here.

We draw

I don't have anything to write about...
But we drew yesterday. :D

< haha, sketchiness. rora sketched on fujou but her browser decided to die and it didn't send.









< Rezu's drawing. I wonder if she would mind me doing this... ¬.¬




And so the world continued another day.