Avatar Academy

Art test for Nickelodeon's trainee program. Possibly another turning point if this flies 😂

Shadow

 

I'm not actually interested in Marika that much. All along it was just an excuse to draw more of this guy *-*

Update: Got removed from the official ER subreddit because mods marked this (and the last one with Marika) as AI. Guess it's another backhand-compliment-signifier that I've made it??? But if so, where are all my follows? :( :( :( Here's to hoping the appeal goes through and that FromSoft (if they ever actually look) dun also think am just a sham 😭😭😭

 

Update update: omg LOL 

There I have it, the reality check I needed to keep my head out of the clouds. Keep at it Jing, you ain't there yet, just as you always knew 💪

First King

 

Struggled as usual, then slowed down, regrouped, and reevaluated the state of things (once more). I think I'm aight 😂

The name is Warp

 

The personal meaning of this one is a bit beyond the reach of words

Who's there?

Another shot. Animation best viewed looped on, say, insta or twitter or wherever else I upload.

Feeling like I'm reaching the limit of what I want to do in Photoshop 😂 If I ever finish the sequence I see in my head, it will have to move to a real animation program.

That Day

...How did this journey take so long? But I suppose all that matters is

we're here now.

Candis

Aaah it's been a while since I'd been tickled like this by a simple video. Since the first time I saw Ranunculus's subbed lyrics? Coupled with the knowledge now that I can paint this! I can study the shit outta this! *__*

How do some people get to be this fucking artsy and this fucking inspirational? OTZ

2016 vs 2021

For a lighting exercise I meant to do way back when that completely, obviously, and utterly died in the womb 🤣 I most certainly didn't think I'd ever be able to do clean line art ever until...a month ago? Damn. I wonder where I'll be by the end of this class...and can't wait to get there 🙂

The you and the I

They say the beast that is Dir en grey no longer allowed room for him to write about personal feelings. Even if love/pain is mentioned, they are abstracted, broad-stroked worldviews. sukekiyo, on the other hand, is very simply the place for the small and personal, the you and the I.

What about...?

Even if there is already a triple outlet where all manners of the small and personal and everyday is shared (at what sense of fulfilment! this universe)... Occasionally, there is...that pang. The itch, or urge, to leave something more behind. 

I stir.

Is it time...?

How do I drew things

I wish I could take every single class that Will Weston offers :(

Everglow

Funny that this just-right proportion of nostalgia in this song is carrying me through so much.

What's holding me back from starting daily sketches again? I feel I can do anything with this playing on single repeat.

Happy Birthday Dogess

Holy crap it's been so long since I've even drawn, let along painted. I'm so fucking tired due to extremely smart time management choices, but at least HP is happy :D Here's to hoping Dogess likes it as well. (Thank you mister, and thank you mister. Couldn't have done it without you ❤︎)

Unmentioned was the fact that apparently I have a job that wasn't directly given to me by my parents now. I can even pay rent and shit! Wow! So grown up ;_;

History and principles of animation

Walk cycle was all Photoshop and jump cycle all traditional (mechanical pencil with blue col-erase lead + 0.5 Micron on animation paper with light box), but Photoshop was used as if I was drawing on paper. Put together in AfterEffects.

When I get unlazy I will maybe finish and post her redesigns, sigh. I wish I knew how to be less timid with acting. I need lessons.

Dell U2412M

Got the same monitor used at school. Now (2D) work can finally happen at home, too. T__T THANK YOU SO MUCH JING ILY

From even just looking at monni I automatically get the urge/reflex to plug in tabby and to start working. It's beyond belief how good this is. I'll even know how colors look now, imagine that! Maybe I'll draw more for reals this time?!

So pissed with myself right now.

Struggling to finish these both by tonight, final deadliest of all deadlines. Summoning all my strength and resolve ever.

I am an artist.

That is what I am, and that is what I do. Because of that, I draw. Because of that, I exist. How dare I become complacent? How dare I let this fall into habit and live simply to get by, homework to homework? How dare I forget the passion that led me here in the first place?!

From this day on, daily sketches resume. No more bullshit excuses. No more fear of toil and burnout, because that is part of the natural struggle in life. I eat and sleep every day; so will I draw.

Happy birthday (in Asia time), Saga and Kanon. I live to breathe life into you.


(And, thank you, Tomas. It was the greatest thing in the world to meet you.)

Progress

...is incremental and measurable by the week. I feel to be in a constant state of awe.

Class size is so small that we are essentially the same 9 people who go to the exact same classes five days a week. I'm living a reminder of what things were like in high school and earlier, with anticipation for certain candy in his wrapper-of-the-day.

Once upon a time, there was a Phil.

In other news, I met 白玄, who was essentially the first person I got to know in the circle back in November '12, the one who christened me 腰果 in the first place. I go to her place every weekend to button-mash Brave Soldiers...and fall in love with Saga's 3D model every time I look. One day I will make my own.

Meanwhile, it's quite frustrating to under-perform. To have a few days pass, and feel myself under-performing whilst still in the middle of performing.

Progress.

いくぞ

More or less settled in. Furniture is not mine.

99% Approval Rate achieved, yet

something still feels majorly off, and I feel I can finally put a finger on why.

After the initial shock/anger passed, his stance essentially is now this: Get the training, get the first year or two of job experience, and then come over to China. I have the resources and connections to have you start your own studio. Draft a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan. No slacking, no drifting, no settling with a 5-digit salaried job. You want to do this, you better damn well make it big.

Which I have no problems with, in principle. "Dream big or go home;" "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough," right? So why am I not happy that I'm getting what I want and earning their support? Why does it feel like oppression instead?

Only now I realized.

Citizen Kane.

While of course not an exact analogous situation, it, still, never really was about me, was it? It's still about his being in control, even if he firmly believes he's doing it all purely for my sake, for the best in my interest. I can throw him curve balls and majorly change the blank in what I want, and he can even be okay with it, but to think he would ever relinquish control, to ever cease pushing? That is foolishness.

And of course, part of this, too, feels like I'm just being a whiny unsatisfiable bitch crying over first world problems. Think of all the sheep children who never could fight to break the DOCTOR OR LAWYER routine. Think of what I have, miraculously it still seems, actually achieved.

I need to work on that portfolio. Deadline planned as the end of this month, as soon as I wrap up my other SSOnly promo.

50% down

 

Came out to mom today. Cat's out of the fucking bag, thumbs up. Now on to the next (always tougher) 50%, and to officially pour fourth with that portfolio.

I actually didn't even remember what this 'ambition' tag was until I checked. And what a surprise, how fitting.

...Almost there.