031. Choices

1. Georgia
2. Ohio
3. New York

Ranked in order of who would mind the least if I have to crash for a bit on extreme short notice. Unfortunately, any one of the above is at least eight hours away, and I have yet to figure out if pride allows me to drive the car that was handed to me.

But, decisions for another day. I'm sleeping tonight.

It's funny that even if this has been daydreamed (albeit sporadically) for so long, there are still so many practical details I failed to consider. One thing at a time.

030. Upgrade

Another art crisis already? If it weren't for the fact that they are who they are, I came this fucking close to chucking everything out and giving up again today. Feels almost like the eyes leveled up by more than one lvl this time, since not only do my own works look now like crap, a number of holy gods I used to worship suddenly don't look nearly as godly either. I'm concentrating as hard as I can on what this has to mean while I wait for my hand to catch up.

028. Resonance

2002/2003

• Faux boss whose psychotic split personality is the true arc boss. Final battle leaves him cleansed and ready to support the protagonists.
• Split personality born out of mental and physical abuse at father's hand in childhood
• Rose into villainy due to a basic misunderstanding: believed Pharaoh somehow killed his father (What.) when it was actually Yami Malik.
• Attraction had a 75% basis upon his holy batman character design.
• Directly responsible for the discovery of YSRMB and the launch into forum/chatroom culture.
• Never understood the appeal of shounen-ai/yaoi; found fanfics and pairings lulzy if not outright sad.

2012/2013

• Classic Sanctuary arc has his psychotic split personality(??) set up as the mysterious faceless arc boss with an obsession for taking baths. The face we finally do get to see when the mask comes off, however, is that of his normal self - an ingenious twist that left all kiddies as open-mouthed and confused as Seiya back in the day. Redemption (or unification?? restoration of balance??) by suicide (anime) or Athena before suicide (manga), and...dear god, what a tearjerk after (each, numerous) death. ;_;
• Split personality a curse hinted to burden all older Gemini saints through history. Dormant within until awakened by the little brother (or should I say *cough* SEDUCED *cough* like they do in canon? Seriously, what).
• Rose into villainy as soon as alt ego(??) was fully formed. How and when this actually happened is terribly glossed-over, leaving entire continents of space for doujin to fill. The [subjective]best[/subjective] theory proposes that the percussion of "losing" Kanon, even more so than Shion's choice of Aiolos, was the true catalyst.
• Attraction has a 75% basis upon intrigue over his characterization (and what he had to chuck through in Hades Sanctuary (Oh my manly tears), never the fuck mind Classic Sanctuary). Why that signature expression? What's the deal with Kanon? Why?
• Directly responsible for the rediscovery of forum/chatroom culture, and launching a thousand burning inspirations to create.
• Also responsible for the complete 180º change of attitude/opinion toward doujin, which is not to be confused with fanfics. Because in China, there exist skilled professional writers who literally produce novel-length works which they frequently proceed to physically publish and sell after sharing online (and still get people who buy!). Collectively, they (along with the original Saint Seiya) give off a vibe much like Tatami Galaxy - same characters under alternate backdrops, parallel existence with selfsame characterization. Induced my acceptance for tanbi, which really is a surprisingly different animal from BL and certainly yaoi. Everything for the pure pursuit of beauty indeed.

027. Imbroglio

Progress shots at this stage in the game all tend to look similar. I'm pressed to feel that the next time I have the nerve to show that ramen thing again, it better be the finished thing. Therefore, meanwhile, you may stare at Comet and my butt to pass the time.

026. Dregs

Fine, I'll admit it. Progress has been fucking staggering. -_-;

025. A name

1. Apparently, the piece I poured the least effort into last month, Team Lament, helped inspire an entire fucking straight-up one-shot purely-yaoi-with-no-character-depth fanfic without me knowing. In Spanish. Informed to me in Chinese. What is happening in this world.

2. Got off work early today due to severe weather, and I was dedicating the evening to slowly whipping color into ramen twins, except Comet starts barfing in the living room and when I go down to clean up, I see squirming rubber bands in his regurgitated blob. The rest of the night was spent woefully lamenting the lack of disposable gloves at home as I picked out said worms with his poop bags over my hands into an evidence bag and cleaning the carpet. Hopefully the vets are open tomorrow to at least book an appointment.

3. Became sort of active in chatrooms(!!) after how many years? Ten? It's really kind of amazing. I even have an official alt-language nickname now, sort of. It roughly equates to "moneybag cashews."

Yes.

024. The Unravelling

DISC 1 : CD
01. Unraveling
02. 業 (KARMA)
03. かすみ (KASUMI)
04. 鴉 (KARASU)
05. Bottom of the death valley
06. Unknown.Despair.Lost
07. THE FINAL
DISC 2 : CD
01. MACABRE
02. Unraveling (Unplugged Ver.)
03. THE FINAL (Unplugged Ver.)

Uh, so there is only one or two new songs on this next "mini album" coming out in April... Should have just called it a super deluxe single. =_+

But looking at the list of remade songs, I'm excited to see The Final... I really wonder how a matured Deg would re-imagine that one. And to me, Kasumi already is a completed work. What made them choose that one, too?

Interviews say Deg considered itself truly born as an identity only starting with Vulgar.

Interviews also seem to suggest Kyo was actually the one who drew the Rinkaku cover, above. He is opening himself up in other venues of self-expression...

Fifteen years young of Dir en grey.

023. Torsos are beautiful animals

Therefore...

And also my solution to the color problem is to apparently drain the colors. Of course. ಠ__ಠ Still got to patch shit up so Kanon steals less of the foreground...

022. Close

60% given up on Kanon's face and thinking of settling. I'll try one last thing tomorrow...or whenever it'll be the next time I get to draw.

021. 13 cheerleaders

A tad random to have Camus and Deathmask in the lead, but still EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING NEED. Lol'd @ how the twins start at opposite ends of the crowd but steadily sneak up closer together as time progresses.

If I were awake I'd be drawing to this tonight.

Edit: 
wait a minute there's clearly only 10 of them Milo Aiolios Aiolia are not in this what in the I can't even count

020. Things that I could learn

...

019. Interpretation

Current state vs. gold standard screenshot. Hair issues aside, I'm (finally) 98% satisfied with the shape and position of his features. How much pressure I place upon myself to birth the accurate Saga of my dreams fucking amazes even me.

/placeholderinthindisguise

018. Language is a muscle

and I can distinctly tell that my Chinese is in the best shape it's been in since forever. By the same logic, I could pick up Spanish again, too, if I were to expand fandom participation in that direction...

*chinstroke

017. Logistics

Still not quite right in the faces, but at least not blatantly blasphemous any more. Saga's features probably won't see too much more change; Kanon's still need more work. Main challenge is actually color choices.

--- EDIT ---
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND I NOTICE ONLY NOW THAT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE SAGA LEFT-HANDED?!!!?!?!?!
QUICK, HOW DO I PRETEND I TOTALLY DID THAT ON PURPOSE

016. Missed chances

I never forgave myself for not grabbing that mannequin bust for $25 while I still could. Turns out this shit can't be found on Ebay, and certainly not for that price anywhere.

015. Memory of dreams

are unbound by time. How far off are daydreams?

In one alternate parallel universe born from thought, I took positive action at your last word to invite myself over to your door, with no plans save for work. No intentions of anything more. Silently, independently, we'd mutually embody that physical presence necessary to precipitate our respective work. A story or two might have been shared about my tablet. Midnight might have dawned, and I, politely kicked out by unspoken cue, would have then driven home.

As opposed to our actuality, where I fell passively wordless as if offended or nonchalant, and you spoke no more.

014. Quarter-baked

You know you're seeing something severely undercooked when Kanon is somehow paler than Saga....plus holy fuck what is wrong with their faces @__@ God I hope I have time again soon so I can fix this blasphemy.

013. Rinkaku subbed

I almost feel half bad for shitting with placeholder meaningless posts on a daily basis now. Except it actually has become a habit, and I feel guilty/OCD as fuck if I miss a day.

012. Herpy derpday Shura

Forever 23! Etc.

011. Plasticity

Progress is actually pretty fucking quick; you just can't tell because I've absolutely had zero time. At least now we have a dead giveaway of who these first two prototypes are. More versions of different people to come later, and I don't think I'm shitting when I say that.

010. I have never been more terrifed

...so help me God.

009. Reading is a wonderful thing

and so I didn't draw tonight okay shut up leave me alone ;_;

008. Instant ramen

No armor hopefully means this one will progress more quickly?

007. Unfortunate numbering to the left

High time to get really fucking serious about learning male anatomy.

006. Ingenious

Again. How the fuck do people come up with these ideas!!?! I'm retching in jealousy.

005. A fighting spirit

How does one keep direction? What amount of blind self-deceit is necessary to sustain prolonged belief? So much of existence gets filtered out by habituation. What we communally don't see shapes our objectivity.

004. More reference studies

Background-chan, I will get you one day.

003. Time

Studying up on these proportions. Oh Rhada, you so fly.

002. It's not so bad

Everything is doable, ambitions are under control, self critic is in check, motivation is present. Now if only I have the fucking time to actually do it.

(9:18:04 PM) yuuzora: I got up at 6 this morning to send my dad off to the airport.
(9:18:19 PM) yuuzora: Came back to send siblings to the bus stop, turns out the bus never came, so I have to drive them to school.
(9:18:26 PM) yuuzora: Came back to go directly to work, 10ish by this time.
(9:18:47 PM) yuuzora: Got off work at 7, went straight to make dinner.
(9:18:52 PM) yuuzora: Done at 8.
(9:19:07 PM) yuuzora: Barely got to sit my ass down for the past hour, and now I can't keep my eyes open.
(9:20:00 PM) yuuzora: Already I'm skipping walking the dog tonight, otherwise I'd be doing that.
(9:20:54 PM) Jimmyn: 0_0
(9:21:20 PM) Jimmyn: that sounds like aids
(9:24:07 PM) yuuzora: I'm going to retire to bed because I can keep my right eye open but not my left so I'm literally squinting.

001. Premonition

That feeling of familiarity and prospect from summer/spring, combined with the 23.5 coincidence. Suddenly, words and contact to pull me above the radar.

What are you?

I cautiously withhold myself because I learn my lessons after a single slap, with never a need for more. My fragile sense of face allows for no more. Then, my greatest lament was the loss of a potential friend; now, you teach me that needs not be the case, that bridges need not always be burned. I should taste relief on my breath. Yet...

Glasses and night light may distort your strange colors, but even winter clothes cannot conceal how exquisitely you are wrought.

And beauty easily distracts me.