Cue moment of horrific panic.
It felt like the past few months of consistent running/working out was done just so I could be in shape to make this one dash of my life - I clocked back into the venue right at 5:43. The girl by the booth told me to wait back outside, so I slumped out in relief...only to realize with fresh horror that I'd developed a post-race fit. Extremely nostalgic of indoor track days, as I clutched my throat and leaned against a lamppost next to a street trashcan while coughing so hard it was a miracle I didn't throw up, with tears running down my face and high prayer that my eyeliner was holding up. Surprisingly, the line/crowd (less than 80 people) did not flinch or show signs of disgust/avoidance, and simply quietly let me be as I hacked away like I was dying by poison gas. The presence of so many smokers in close proximity did not help my case, after all.
At close to 6PM, a venue staff finally came out to call VIPs into line...and to my third horror of the night, I saw that over half of the people present were all VIPs. When these tickets were sold back in July, I was under the impression that there were only 5 available per location. Reality suggested it was closer to 50, and it dawned on me that this would be nothing close to the personal kind of meet I had in mind.
As to the actual fanbase, it was impressive/a relief to see that the proportion of males was about as high as 40%. Eye-catchers were mostly punk-rock rather than the goth lolis or animu maids/nurses of earlier years, thank god. One guy donned an impressively faithful cosplay of Kyo from Obscure's PV. One girl sported a simplified version of Kyo's makeup for this tour on exactly half her face. I was shoved in line close to a group of Japanese-speaking girls whom I suspected came from Japan - and suspicions were confirmed when they pulled out passports instead of licenses as their picture ID. The venue didn't even need our printed proof of purchase; they simply looked at our ID and checked the name against their list. I had run to my car and back for nothing.
My coughs, at least, had dropped in frequency by this time, and again, I could not be more thankful that no one looked disgusted or gave me a hard time over it. When Deg's camera man came over to roll across the line, I managed to be standing upright and still without breaking into a fit, and even managed to smile and wave at the guy, whom I could see smiling back from behind the camera.
At 6:07 we were let into the venue after some simple instructions. It turned out there was no coat check at all; we had to hold onto our own stuff. On the one hand I was relieved for not having a purse; on the other, I began to sweat profusely at the idea of having to wave the pre-autographed poster and Unraveling CD I received as part of the VIP package in my hands while in the mosh pit.
The venue had a bar to the side, and next to it in the rear, a railed-in section for cafe-like tables and chairs. The 50 or so of us VIPs were penned in like lambs into this cafe section. As soon as everyone was locked in, we saw a certain five people walking towards the bar, spreading out into a line, and standing still into cool-looking postures. People cheered and phone cameras flashed. My fit had finally, thankfully, subsided by this point, or else that would certainly have drawn unpleasant attention right in front of them. I was toward the front with six or seven heads in front of me, and with minor shifting I was able to see that they stood very far away, perhaps 10 yards from even those at the closest edge of the pen. Looking at them from this distance was no different from looking at cardboard cutouts; heck, from the pit we were closer to even Shinya on stage than we were to any of them at this so-called "meet" and "greet".
Speaking of Shinya, compared to the rest, he really was worrisomely skinny, and I could not take my eyes off how tiny his legs appeared. He was the only one not wearing thick-soled/hidden-heeled shoes, which explained why he looked so much shorter than Kaoru in pictures from previous meet&greets. Kaoru was the only one without facial obstruction, and he was also the only one who moved at all, joking with a staff on the side, versus pretending to be a cardboard cutout like the other four. In either case (and typical of Kaoru), he looked into our general direction but not at any one in specific, and my imagination made me think I caught his eye perhaps once. Kyo wore the standard black shroud over his head like I have consistently seen in pictures before, so that was no surprise. Thankfully, he generously let half his face peek out instead of completely covering everything like he did at a previous venue.
Nora facilitated a group Q&A by taking random hands, walking back to ask the band, and then walking back to us to yell out the translated answers. The only noteworthy one was when one kid asked what was their favorite part about touring in the U.S., Toshiya said he liked everything - performing, meeting fans, visiting places - even living on the bus was fun. Considering what I've read from Kei (Chinese lady who moved to and works in Japan just to follow the band; my source of all the latest Deg sightings/nuances/news) on weibo about how much they get sick of eating pizza/burgers every night and missing Japan, I found the answer particularly hilarious. Somehow my brain froze, and I had no idea what or for whom I had questions. I did not raise my hand even once.
After 10 or 15 questions, we were instructed to prepare our cameras to give to Nora for our picture with the band. I had my fourth heart attack of the night as I completely didn't expect they'd allow us to use our own cameras/phones. I didn't even bring a camera; all I had was my extremely old and shitty phone. In any case, the assembly line was moving fast, I had no time to make friends or to ask favors, so I grit my teeth and handed my phone over for inspection. They did not allow me to personally pass them any gifts; I had to leave my prettied-up gift bag of instant miso at a table for later collection. I counted three people ahead of me, the line mercilessly chugging along. Two. My heart was in my throat as I was completely clueless over where (or next to whom) should I stand. One. A decision arose and reverberated inside my head: "Go to Kyo, go to Kyo, go to Kyo." My turn. And, to my utter shock, my feet somehow gained a consciousness of their own and carried me straight to Toshiya in a beeline.
No instructions were given on whether we were allowed to touch them, and in the rush I did not dare to personally ask him whether I could. I simply put my hands close toward him and bowed whispering はじめまして, to which he held out his hands and responded with a smile and a deep nod. Did we touch? I couldn't even tell. That was all the time I had before Nora started the countdown for picture, so I whirled around and quickly inserted myself between him and Die, not daring to touch either. We only got one shot, and then it's on to the next person. Snap, next. Snap, next. I had to pick up my phone immediately afterwards and did not have the chance for even a backward glance at Kyo. I bolted straight toward the pit, knowing it had to be made up there by the actual concert.
The rail was already full, so I picked my usual off-center slightly-to-the-left position in the second row, where I had been for both of my previous two concerts. I don't think it was by choice in 2007, and in 2008 I learned that that was the most strategic spot anyway if I wanted to be close to as many of them as possible.
Prime example: compare Kaoru's head to mine.
Lights were promptly off at 8, and Dagoba's drummer, Franky, was the first one on stage. Short but well-built and amazingly cute with a head full of long braids. Loved to twirl a drumstick between two fingers, tossing it ten feet into the air and catching it between the fingers again. Breathtaking smile, extremely cognizant of the audience, and easily recognized me later in NY despite having had no interactions other than eye contact here between stage and pit. Vocalist Shawter was unimpressionable at first (Sarah would like to disagree), but became better-looking quickly the more you looked at him. The guitarist and bassist were both about as inactive on stage as Kaoru, which...does not make them visible or memorable. However, the guitarist wore a sleeveless shirt that said "DIAMOND DUST"... so combined with the fact that these guys were French, I couldn't stop lol'ing in my head thinking about Saint Seiya's Camus.
Sound-wise, they had some extremely catchy rhythm and riffs...even though they all sounded similar except for one song. I was looking at Shawter and I could clearly tell he was singing, even melodiously at some parts, but the sound quality was so terrible that I didn't even know what his singing voice sounded like until NY. So, unfortunately, I spent the 45 minutes that Dagoba performed mainly staring at Franky. (Oh. So maybe that's why he recognized me so easily in NY, loool.) He and Shawter were all the visual entertainment Dagoba had to offer, other than the one instance where the wire of his mic crossed over with the bassist's cord, so the latter had to awkwardly untangle them both by crawling under Shawter's cord while he remained oblivious during the entire ordeal and kept singing.
To prove my earlier guess on how narrow the gap was between stage and rail, Shawter stepped over at least four times during performance, standing right against the rail to sing over our heads. His gut was right in the face of the girl two or three people over to my right at the rail, and she turned around to avoid touching him and awkwardly smiled when she saw I noticed. Shawter had a fun time directing the mosh, requesting the crowd to split down the middle or to form a circle gap for a wall of death, and it was pretty amazing that people actually obliged. Aside from the first three rows who clung onto the rail, the people behind us looked dangerous, dancing and crashing into each other in the space they continuously milled and pushed to create. When I was not looking at Franky I was turned looking backwards at the crowd - compared to how everyone would just uniformly squeeze forward trying to get as close to the stage as possible for Deg, the dynamic here is simply that these people were having fun.
The crowd gave a decent cheer as they promptly finished at 8:45, each member taking their own short videos of the audience and having a roadie take the band's picture together with us as the background. Crewmen from both bands spent the next 20 minutes clearing the stage and equipment-testing for Deg. It was heartwarming to see some familiar colors, if not familiar instruments. Kaoru had his signature ESP in a bright metallic purple glitter body as well as a black; Die had his classic red as well as the black-and-red mottled I had seen before in a guitar lesson on youtube. Toshiya, unfortunately, never uses my favorite black-on-white again, and stuck with a sharp-looking black ESP-00. Also extremely amusing was how the mic stands for the three guitar-holders were filled with rows of picks, sticking out like protrusions on a spinal column. Purple for Kaoru, red for Die, black for Toshiya. Judging by how few were plucked and missing, this was likely their supply for the entire tour.
After the somewhat physical proximity through the opening act, I spent this interval getting familiar with the people around me to break the ice for the imminent cuddling/dry humping of the following two hours. The girl directly in front of me was thankfully no taller than 5'0" while over twice my width, and she did not mind one bit that I held directly onto her, or that my arms were perpetually stuck sticking up once I raised them to either side of her head, with no place to rest other than onto her shoulders. She wore her drawstring bag by hanging it from the neck, and before we were informed that we were allowed to drop our belongings onto the other side of the rail, I helped her relieve the weight by pulling up the string so it wouldn't dig into her skin. This was the kindest crowd I had ever met, and I tried to reciprocate at every turn. I took off my jacket at this point, but didn't have to worry about holding it for the rest of the show because it was tightly caught between my body and the girl in front.
Nora and crew finally gave the flashlight signal at 9:15, and the stage promptly darkened, making everyone scream. I listened hard at the intro background music, but it was not Kyoukotsu no Nari or Sa Bir or any tune that I could recognize. Exciting, therefore, to consider that it might actually be from the new album, but there was no time to let this sink in because barely after it started, Shinya's glowing white shirt slipped on stage from the left, followed quickly by Die, Toshiya, and Kaoru. Toshiya was wearing a turquoise sleeveless turtleneck along with his signature pleated skirt and black leggings. They picked up their instruments without much acknowledgement to the crowd beyond a raised arm, and I registered once again just how crowded they were on that tiny stage right as Kyo made his entrance. He wore black skinny jeans and an open leather jacket, the black shroud draping over his head like a hood trailing so long onto the floor that he stepped on its corner, slipped for a microsecond, but recovered lightning fast before the crowd even had time to react, and rushed headlong into a growl that opened up Obscure.
I breathed a sigh of relief that I could at least hear Kyo's voice over the rest of the band (unlike how it was for Dagoba), but the sound quality was still undoubtedly the worst I've encountered out of all previous shows. It was impossible to admire Kyo's performance (as both here and later in NY, his voice had been in superb healthy condition, the best I've heard); it was all about physically rumbling from Toshiya and Shinya while deaf in the ears from Kaoru and Die. This was the set list as I remember. The first three songs and the last song I'm quite sure about, the order in the middle I'm more murky:
Obscure
Juuyoku
Karma
Dozing Green
Ryojoku no ame
Bottom of the Death Valley
Karasu
Rinkaku
Different Sense
Dead Tree
Vinushka
The Blossoming Beelzebub
Kasumi
- encore -
- encore -
The Final
Reiketsu nariseba
Hageshisa to koto mune no naka de karamitsuita shakunetsu no
yami
I was a little disappointed by the lack of Vanitas and Diabolos (present in the Japan tour according to Kei), but given the presence of both Vinushka and Beelzebub, I feel I hardly have the right to complain.
I roughly occupied the spot between Kyo and Toshiya. Since the backdrop was not a still banner like previous lives I'd attended, I found my attention split way too many ways - on Kyo, of course; on Toshiya, whose breakdancing was obviously and depressingly restrained so as to not risk crashing into Kaoru or Kyo; the ever-changing and fascinating projected imagery; and, lastly, my sudden comfort and energy to thrash in the pit with every ounce I could give. Gone were the old days of '07 and '08 when I cowered, confused and scared, passively shoved around like a limp dead fish. I was sandwiched by two fleshy human walls, in front and behind, who were both thankfully all flesh and no bone, so even during the worst of the moshing, I was merely squeezed between two human buns rather than being skewered by elbows from every which way.
When stray guitar notes loosely began to morph into the intro for The Blossoming Beelzebub, the video projected onto the backdrop suddenly changed into a stark closeup of Kyo's face. It took a moment to hit home that this was a live shot of us. Surely enough, Kyo had retreated next to Shinya's fortress, back turned, cowering into a video camera pointing toward the audience. The next ten minutes was a wild trip riding on his every nuanced expression from underneath all that makeup - I'd never seen anything of the like in any recorded DVD live. Intensely eerie, intensely appropriate for just this song.
As previously mentioned, Toshiya's movement was largely confined by the tight space, and it was clear he didn't dare pull off his crazier and flashier antics. During one song, however, he grabbed his mike stand and rubbed it against the neck of his bass, somehow playing a few phrases while dancing and using the metal rod of the stand. He swept his gaze across the audience without personally connecting with any one's eyes. For the intro of Bottom of the Death Valley, he played the 2013 version.
Kaoru mostly stuck to his left corner of the stage as usual, all business and close to no showmanship. I craned my neck to the right a few times to check on Die, and I could swear that somehow, every time I did, Die also happened to be looking in my direction as well. It was too far (plus his eye makeup was too heavy) to tell whether it was direct eye contact. Similarly so with Kyo - he swept his eyes across us many times, but it was difficult to judge eye contact through his white contacts. In any case, there was nothing comparable with the one connection we shared at my first concert in '07.
Some cheering and yelling occurred for the encore, but not enough (and especially not compared to NY) that it didn't even hit me that that was the encore; I thought it was simply a regular break for the band. When they returned, I immediately understood what Kei had meant when she raved about wanting some of that magic makeup remover of Kyo's: he didn't wipe off what was on his throat and chest, but his face had somehow become completely whistle-clean in the three or so minutes they were offstage.
Before Hageshisa [insert rest of super-long name], Kyo suddenly stepped to the very edge of the stage and yelled: LASS SONNN! To which we replied as one: NO!!! And this exchange repeated three or so more times before Die and Kaoru dove into the intro. This was the only time Kyo spoke to us, and he stayed right at the rim of the stage. The other three followed suit after briefly swapping sides, eventually all lining up less than four feet away from us, in a row, as every hand reached toward them, just barely out of grasp. It surprised me a little that Kyo did not strip at all other than tossing away his shroud - I was looking super forward to meeing his Buddhist thousand-arm Kannon tattoo.
I realized only the following day that this was the occasion when I had
the air squeezed out of me, enough to form a bruise on my sternum and hip the
following day. At the time I did not notice at all. The girl in front of
me, I, and the person behind formed a three-people sandwich/dry humping
train as we thrashed in sync through the entire song.
And then, abruptly, it was over. Kyo was the first to slip off the stage, while the others stayed to spray water and throw picks/drumsticks/drum covers. I was "blessed" by Shinya's holy water as well as catching a full bottle of unopened water from Toshiya. I poured a draft into my mouth and then fed it to Sarah on my left, two grateful girls to my right, as well as the girl in front. Did not catch anything else, but I also couldn't help but notice that the picks and etc. they threw were new, unused, and certainly unkissed, unlike the one I caught of Die's back in '07. Therefore...oh well.
I waited around for Sarah to retrieve her bag from the other side of the rail, put my jacket on again, and headed over to the merchandise table. Most shirts were $30, but what I really wanted at that point was the $20 tote bag to hold my CD, squeezed-flat poster, and Toshiya's bottle. I went through both of my zipped pockets twice, emptying and turning each inside out, and could not find my $40 cash. Whether someone took them or they somehow fell out of my zipped pockets (was not on the floor of the pit anywhere when we checked) I would never find out, but, very kindly, my drivers' license and credit card as well as keys and phone were safe and sound. I could always get merch later, and since I still had everything else that were more important, I was grateful for having only lost cash.
After Sarah purchased her merchandise, we huddled outside the venue with 40 or so people. The group of Japanese girls were also there, and I realized they were going to attempt a wait-out. I discussed this with Sarah, and we decided to join in on this quest. The temperature was not unbearable at ~40 degrees, we both came from out-of-state, lodging at motels, and didn't have time constraints for tomorrow. In our words, we had nothing to lose by waiting. It was 11PM at this time, the concert having finished exactly on time. We made a short trip to a 711 one block away for food, then returned to the bus, huddled, chatted, watched people hang out or leave. I was feeling completely fine and even energetic, the polar opposite of my half-dead state back in 2008. I concluded it was because I was physically in shape this time, and started wishing I had purchased tickets to the Philadelphia show for the following day as well as for NY.
Dagoba's Shawter was walking around taking pictures with random fans, and we saw Franky around the corner as well. Roadies from both bands were loading up the compartment in the back of the bus with instruments, largely ignoring the crowd. We saw no hint of being shooed away by the venue, so we continued staking it out.
At 1:15AM (~20 people remaining by this time), Shinya and Toshiya walked out from a side entrance toward the bus, surrounded by a crew of roadies. We made an immediate dash toward the rail that guided toward the bus entrance, and the roadies were alarmed into trying to block us. But we were a quiet and calm group, doing no more than whispering a few お疲れ様でした or おやすみ and shooting them glances of love. No screaming, no squealing, no flashes of camera. Both had their sunglasses on and did not slow down or show signs of having noticed us. One Japanese girl squeezed in for a split second to hand her Toshiya-sama a card with a full bow, and retreated right after he took it. I was standing almost immediately next to the bus's entrance behind the rail, and watched them climb the steps less than two feet away. The roadies tried to tell us that everyone else was already on the bus, but of course no one believed them.
At 1:50AM (~10 people remaining by this time; even the Japanese girls had gone), Kaoru and Die walked out from the same entrance, surrounded by a smaller crew. One was trying to playfully videotape them, but Kaoru (no sunglasses) continuously waved him aside jokingly, and also entirely ignored us as he made it onto the bus. Die, however, we could tell was looking at us one by one even with sunglasses on. He did not say anything, but nodded here and there when we said the same words of good night to him. He smiled at me when he was still a ways down the rail, and nodded and smiled again right as he climbed up the steps next to me.
At this point we already felt like everything was worth it; everyone marveled at how friendly Die was. A few more people left, and it was down to five or six of us who still did not give up on seeing Kyo. At around 2:30AM the bus door opened to let out four or five roadies, and, suddenly, Die. He was not wearing sunglasses this time, and our group of five was spread-out and did not have time to crowd around or even react. By pure luck I was off the rail but still standing quite close to the bus entrance, and watched with wide eyes as Die didn't even bother with the railed path, instead cutting through to squeeze around right beside me. He smiled with a nod as he approached, turned and smiled again right as he brushed past me, and then did a double take to smile one last time before finally walking off toward some area one block down with bars. The handful of roadies loosely followed him away as we stood, jaws dropping. He looked unbelievably youthful, even younger than me. He could have been 20 years old.
Those who felt they could not ask for any more had left, too, after that. It was just me, Sarah, and a third girl by this time - we stuck by our principle that we had absolutely nothing to lose, we wanted to see Kyo, and we could wait through the entire night if that was what it would take. At 3:30AM Die returned, alone and way ahead of the rest of the crew. They came back by a different way, I suppose to avoid attention, but a bit pointless since they would still need to return to the bus regardless of which route they take, and we...were right at the bus.
Since it was just us three, he did not back down when we moved closer. Sarah suddenly asked whether she could hug him, and he nodded a yes. After she was done, the other girl asked for a picture, to which he also obliged. I asked, Can I get a hug, too? Die was all smiles. I had no time to think and simply closed in, giving him a tight squeeze. Again, he was not emaciated like how he looks in some pictures. He's...normal-sized. Very nice leather jacket, and very much a gentleman, arms above the waist. When we separated he was still smiling at me as I said Thank you, and we whispered each other Good night. He gave a last wave before he entered the bus.
The third girl left, and it was just me and Sarah. Soon afterwards, a Dagoba roadie came out for a smoke and started a conversation with us, curious over why we're still waiting. When we explained about our hopes for Kyo, he told us, sincerely, that Kyo had already been sleeping for some time. He was the first one back on the bus, and usually sneaked in before any of the fans were even out of the venue. If we simply wanted Kyo to sign something, he would be very happy to pass it to him on the bus for us, but to wake Kyo up just to meet us would be a bit much. After conversing a bit more we finally believed him, and Sarah and I slowly, reluctantly made our way to my car.
By the time I dropped her off at her hotel and had driven back to mine, it was around 4AM. I did not sleep that morning until after 5:30, waking up again at 6:47. I tidied up and ate two pieces of toast. By 8:20AM I was on the road, driving to Princeton to see moose.
When stray guitar notes loosely began to morph into the intro for The Blossoming Beelzebub, the video projected onto the backdrop suddenly changed into a stark closeup of Kyo's face. It took a moment to hit home that this was a live shot of us. Surely enough, Kyo had retreated next to Shinya's fortress, back turned, cowering into a video camera pointing toward the audience. The next ten minutes was a wild trip riding on his every nuanced expression from underneath all that makeup - I'd never seen anything of the like in any recorded DVD live. Intensely eerie, intensely appropriate for just this song.
As previously mentioned, Toshiya's movement was largely confined by the tight space, and it was clear he didn't dare pull off his crazier and flashier antics. During one song, however, he grabbed his mike stand and rubbed it against the neck of his bass, somehow playing a few phrases while dancing and using the metal rod of the stand. He swept his gaze across the audience without personally connecting with any one's eyes. For the intro of Bottom of the Death Valley, he played the 2013 version.
Kaoru mostly stuck to his left corner of the stage as usual, all business and close to no showmanship. I craned my neck to the right a few times to check on Die, and I could swear that somehow, every time I did, Die also happened to be looking in my direction as well. It was too far (plus his eye makeup was too heavy) to tell whether it was direct eye contact. Similarly so with Kyo - he swept his eyes across us many times, but it was difficult to judge eye contact through his white contacts. In any case, there was nothing comparable with the one connection we shared at my first concert in '07.
Some cheering and yelling occurred for the encore, but not enough (and especially not compared to NY) that it didn't even hit me that that was the encore; I thought it was simply a regular break for the band. When they returned, I immediately understood what Kei had meant when she raved about wanting some of that magic makeup remover of Kyo's: he didn't wipe off what was on his throat and chest, but his face had somehow become completely whistle-clean in the three or so minutes they were offstage.
Before Hageshisa [insert rest of super-long name], Kyo suddenly stepped to the very edge of the stage and yelled: LASS SONNN! To which we replied as one: NO!!! And this exchange repeated three or so more times before Die and Kaoru dove into the intro. This was the only time Kyo spoke to us, and he stayed right at the rim of the stage. The other three followed suit after briefly swapping sides, eventually all lining up less than four feet away from us, in a row, as every hand reached toward them, just barely out of grasp. It surprised me a little that Kyo did not strip at all other than tossing away his shroud - I was looking super forward to meeing his Buddhist thousand-arm Kannon tattoo.
And then, abruptly, it was over. Kyo was the first to slip off the stage, while the others stayed to spray water and throw picks/drumsticks/drum covers. I was "blessed" by Shinya's holy water as well as catching a full bottle of unopened water from Toshiya. I poured a draft into my mouth and then fed it to Sarah on my left, two grateful girls to my right, as well as the girl in front. Did not catch anything else, but I also couldn't help but notice that the picks and etc. they threw were new, unused, and certainly unkissed, unlike the one I caught of Die's back in '07. Therefore...oh well.
I waited around for Sarah to retrieve her bag from the other side of the rail, put my jacket on again, and headed over to the merchandise table. Most shirts were $30, but what I really wanted at that point was the $20 tote bag to hold my CD, squeezed-flat poster, and Toshiya's bottle. I went through both of my zipped pockets twice, emptying and turning each inside out, and could not find my $40 cash. Whether someone took them or they somehow fell out of my zipped pockets (was not on the floor of the pit anywhere when we checked) I would never find out, but, very kindly, my drivers' license and credit card as well as keys and phone were safe and sound. I could always get merch later, and since I still had everything else that were more important, I was grateful for having only lost cash.
After Sarah purchased her merchandise, we huddled outside the venue with 40 or so people. The group of Japanese girls were also there, and I realized they were going to attempt a wait-out. I discussed this with Sarah, and we decided to join in on this quest. The temperature was not unbearable at ~40 degrees, we both came from out-of-state, lodging at motels, and didn't have time constraints for tomorrow. In our words, we had nothing to lose by waiting. It was 11PM at this time, the concert having finished exactly on time. We made a short trip to a 711 one block away for food, then returned to the bus, huddled, chatted, watched people hang out or leave. I was feeling completely fine and even energetic, the polar opposite of my half-dead state back in 2008. I concluded it was because I was physically in shape this time, and started wishing I had purchased tickets to the Philadelphia show for the following day as well as for NY.
Dagoba's Shawter was walking around taking pictures with random fans, and we saw Franky around the corner as well. Roadies from both bands were loading up the compartment in the back of the bus with instruments, largely ignoring the crowd. We saw no hint of being shooed away by the venue, so we continued staking it out.
At 1:15AM (~20 people remaining by this time), Shinya and Toshiya walked out from a side entrance toward the bus, surrounded by a crew of roadies. We made an immediate dash toward the rail that guided toward the bus entrance, and the roadies were alarmed into trying to block us. But we were a quiet and calm group, doing no more than whispering a few お疲れ様でした or おやすみ and shooting them glances of love. No screaming, no squealing, no flashes of camera. Both had their sunglasses on and did not slow down or show signs of having noticed us. One Japanese girl squeezed in for a split second to hand her Toshiya-sama a card with a full bow, and retreated right after he took it. I was standing almost immediately next to the bus's entrance behind the rail, and watched them climb the steps less than two feet away. The roadies tried to tell us that everyone else was already on the bus, but of course no one believed them.
At 1:50AM (~10 people remaining by this time; even the Japanese girls had gone), Kaoru and Die walked out from the same entrance, surrounded by a smaller crew. One was trying to playfully videotape them, but Kaoru (no sunglasses) continuously waved him aside jokingly, and also entirely ignored us as he made it onto the bus. Die, however, we could tell was looking at us one by one even with sunglasses on. He did not say anything, but nodded here and there when we said the same words of good night to him. He smiled at me when he was still a ways down the rail, and nodded and smiled again right as he climbed up the steps next to me.
At this point we already felt like everything was worth it; everyone marveled at how friendly Die was. A few more people left, and it was down to five or six of us who still did not give up on seeing Kyo. At around 2:30AM the bus door opened to let out four or five roadies, and, suddenly, Die. He was not wearing sunglasses this time, and our group of five was spread-out and did not have time to crowd around or even react. By pure luck I was off the rail but still standing quite close to the bus entrance, and watched with wide eyes as Die didn't even bother with the railed path, instead cutting through to squeeze around right beside me. He smiled with a nod as he approached, turned and smiled again right as he brushed past me, and then did a double take to smile one last time before finally walking off toward some area one block down with bars. The handful of roadies loosely followed him away as we stood, jaws dropping. He looked unbelievably youthful, even younger than me. He could have been 20 years old.
Those who felt they could not ask for any more had left, too, after that. It was just me, Sarah, and a third girl by this time - we stuck by our principle that we had absolutely nothing to lose, we wanted to see Kyo, and we could wait through the entire night if that was what it would take. At 3:30AM Die returned, alone and way ahead of the rest of the crew. They came back by a different way, I suppose to avoid attention, but a bit pointless since they would still need to return to the bus regardless of which route they take, and we...were right at the bus.
Since it was just us three, he did not back down when we moved closer. Sarah suddenly asked whether she could hug him, and he nodded a yes. After she was done, the other girl asked for a picture, to which he also obliged. I asked, Can I get a hug, too? Die was all smiles. I had no time to think and simply closed in, giving him a tight squeeze. Again, he was not emaciated like how he looks in some pictures. He's...normal-sized. Very nice leather jacket, and very much a gentleman, arms above the waist. When we separated he was still smiling at me as I said Thank you, and we whispered each other Good night. He gave a last wave before he entered the bus.
The third girl left, and it was just me and Sarah. Soon afterwards, a Dagoba roadie came out for a smoke and started a conversation with us, curious over why we're still waiting. When we explained about our hopes for Kyo, he told us, sincerely, that Kyo had already been sleeping for some time. He was the first one back on the bus, and usually sneaked in before any of the fans were even out of the venue. If we simply wanted Kyo to sign something, he would be very happy to pass it to him on the bus for us, but to wake Kyo up just to meet us would be a bit much. After conversing a bit more we finally believed him, and Sarah and I slowly, reluctantly made our way to my car.
By the time I dropped her off at her hotel and had driven back to mine, it was around 4AM. I did not sleep that morning until after 5:30, waking up again at 6:47. I tidied up and ate two pieces of toast. By 8:20AM I was on the road, driving to Princeton to see moose.
