SSO promo

If everyone can only see just the small thumbnail version at all times, maybe this will actually still look good when I wake up tomorrow morning. Been trying for too many hours straight that I simply can't tell any more.

99% Approval Rate achieved, yet

something still feels majorly off, and I feel I can finally put a finger on why.

After the initial shock/anger passed, his stance essentially is now this: Get the training, get the first year or two of job experience, and then come over to China. I have the resources and connections to have you start your own studio. Draft a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan. No slacking, no drifting, no settling with a 5-digit salaried job. You want to do this, you better damn well make it big.

Which I have no problems with, in principle. "Dream big or go home;" "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough," right? So why am I not happy that I'm getting what I want and earning their support? Why does it feel like oppression instead?

Only now I realized.

Citizen Kane.

While of course not an exact analogous situation, it, still, never really was about me, was it? It's still about his being in control, even if he firmly believes he's doing it all purely for my sake, for the best in my interest. I can throw him curve balls and majorly change the blank in what I want, and he can even be okay with it, but to think he would ever relinquish control, to ever cease pushing? That is foolishness.

And of course, part of this, too, feels like I'm just being a whiny unsatisfiable bitch crying over first world problems. Think of all the sheep children who never could fight to break the DOCTOR OR LAWYER routine. Think of what I have, miraculously it still seems, actually achieved.

I need to work on that portfolio. Deadline planned as the end of this month, as soon as I wrap up my other SSOnly promo.

Nike

Gift postcard for the Gemini table @SaintSeiyaOnly next month in Shanghai.

50% down

 

Came out to mom today. Cat's out of the fucking bag, thumbs up. Now on to the next (always tougher) 50%, and to officially pour fourth with that portfolio.

I actually didn't even remember what this 'ambition' tag was until I checked. And what a surprise, how fitting.

...Almost there.

Gemini

"If I'm gone, will you follow?"

"Mhm."

"But you never came."

"And you've never gone."

"That's because the one who always leaves is you."

"If you go, I'll be there."

"Liar."

"Let go. I'm not leaving."

"Liar! I know you'll disappear as soon as I even open my eyes. No way I'm letting go."

"Go. Live on."

"...What about you?"

"If you go...I'll be there."

Hard pixelated pressure-controlled opacity edge

 

Remembered that I very well liked certain aspects of ChibiPaint, even more than SAI.

Consistency 2

Sexy fucking beasts. Love love love.

And lol fuck you too clean lineart+cell shading. You and I were never meant to be.