And a certain anticipation, anxious expectation, imagined course and trajectory for a story molded completely from my one-sided mind.
I was under the impression that they'd be gone with age, fade as false conjectures, dissipate as we are continuously pushed out of the school's toothpaste tube, down the societal assembly line.
Somewhere is a spring of youth that always counteracts what I thought I had learned.
An especially well-placed pair of eyes (and their use) was all it took.-
More, more more.
I squirm in my seat as I feel the weight of inner dissatisfaction pinning me down by far outshadowing gravity's weight and pull and bottom-heavy center of downward keeling pressing coming-to becoming horizontal frontal dorsal contact with max surface area on the floor. Kissing dust, breathing through carpet loop and hole and fiber intermittent dust and mite and insect leftover with free-floating cleaning solvent residue.
Why me? Why now? I declared formal goodbye on that stage in life, where minimalistic contacts and exchanges of microscopic information magnified through my eyes that miss nothing see beyond plain views interpret to the degree of conjuring up nonexistent facts; out-of-proportion, out of proper theatrical cue as I simmer up the perfect myriad of melodramatic primordial soup fit for any three early teen budding bubbling ceremoniously ignored, ignored, ignored -- What is to follow? What do I feel comfortable and free to share, even now? Especially now? Twiddling thumbs, mangling fingertips tripping over letter and key, space and shift, rolling rounding blurring over thought like words unguided nanoscopic water treading down pinhaired repellent undistinguishable leaf and lawn.
Perhaps a name was a trigger. Perhaps it is like that other overflow causing such unnecessary concerns and piqued curiosities and tragedies and nervous breakdowns in disbelief in negativity. But this counterpart, if it counts as a counterpart in this fresh but related and not-so-different case, is older, has seen more, is based on some solid and justified (and I suppose positive by induced charge) ground.
And perhaps I'm making a way bigger deal out of this, again, as per the usual of then.
8 comments:
TL;DR STOP FLIRTING WITH ME GUYS I CAN'T TAKE IT I'M SO EASILY DISTRACTED T__T
So who is it THIS time?
DUDE THERE'S LIKE THREE OF THEM BRO.
Got over two already after ranting it out. =D
...AANd over and done with the third now, too. Oh, as to who they were? First was a hairdresser, second was an overage hipster, third was a bear.
....And maybe unrelatedly, suddenly over every single one of them ever. It is done.
The scope of this? Let's just say that, after eight years, a certain Aldrius just disappeared from my buddy list, quite permanently.
What the shit. Is phil included in that list, in the people that you are SUDDENLY ALL OVER?
And wait a bear?
A real bear?
Or you know the gay kind of bear?
I'm confused, since when were you into animals?
Yeah. Yeah. All of them. Kind of a WTF WHY HAVE I BEEN GIVING A SHIT FOR SO LONG ESPECIALLY NOW kind of realization thing. It's been a release/relief.
And I say he's a bear just because he's this...really fuzzy and hairy kind of thing, you catch? I don't know his name so I can't show picture proofs. I do have fb illustrations of the other two if you're severely curious.
But bottom line is, it doesn't really matter. They aren't important. =]
Nvm I lied to myself (again. For the millionth time). Phil is NOT ON THIS LIST OH GOD OH GOD WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF
Post a Comment