Cocktails and roller-coaster rides

Recent interactions with parents have shown that I've been a poor hypocrite over something I thought I understood well, again. Hooray for personal growth and underestimation of the extent of truth in my own beliefs! Now that I'm musing things over, this had to be what officially finally pulled me out of last-last week's crazy-mode. Due credit is due.

(Thank you, again. I cannot stress this enough and can't wait until I can tell you exactly how significant this all is. If anything will, this would be the one stroke to finally convince me that I do wish for serious business beyond superficial level.)

I have never experienced a longer two-week period in my life. Never have I been reminded of this many people, especially in this extremely surprising order: Ph, ponyfag, AN, and now, suddenly, Я. This fact alone warrants the label 'roller-coaster ride' to only maybe the tenth power. I can feel breath knocked out of my chest simply from arriving at this realization. The unlikeliest and least expected is happening, and I'm scared (trembling, still) of giving in and letting my self-restraint go.

I barely know you.

My last fear is that I am mesmerized by my superimposed idea of you, rather than the genuine article of you. I need to know.

Mental and physical exploration for answers are my only two (real) goals for this weekend. I can hardly contain myself.