I'm beating myself up for something that ________________________________.
I have no intention of making a living out of this.
I seek improvement and ease of concept relay purely for a sense of ____________________.
Will this continued pressure condition me to dread drawing? Or is this just a phase that, too, will pass, if only I keep pushing far enough?
The best reassurance I've had in ages:
"Don’t forget how fun drawing can (and should) be. Do forget about impressing anyone. Just have fun. Don’t pressure yourself into thinking you’ve got to draw something amazing because if you sit down and think “I’ve got to make an amazing drawing” then you’re just going to end up staring at a blank sheet of paper. Just start drawing."
Thus, today's goal was to relearn fun. Because if "fun" means intentionless doodling, then I have been way too compulsive to "have fun" for the past ten years.
Perhaps that is also why, despite my historical (severe) tendency to fall for the Kanon-archetype in real life, it's Saga who blew me away and stole my soul instead. Too fucking much in common, down to the being very-prone-to-seduction by Kanon-kind.
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