What

Who in the world just straight-up accidentally have a conversation that lasts 11 hours from the moment of waking, to the point of forgetting to eat, for the entire day? And could have kept going if not for schoolwork? Every single time we meet.

What the fuck is wrong with us. XD

Mais

It all seems so easy now. That you are here, as am I, and that I
found
you.

Adults

Got schooled on how that's supposed to work.

What is intimacy?

Where do boundaries lie? This is a sweet spot romanticized since teenage years; I had no idea it could exist as an actual thing, a factual state readily achievable in real life.

[Of course, it did also immensely help to learn that attraction is acknowledged to exist in at least four different forms (physical, romantic, mental, spiritual), and asexuality does not stiffly mean an inability to experience any. Most simply blank on physical attraction. The other three are why humans live.]

Today, there was a certain cloudy look in those eyes that I could feel myself simultaneously mirroring. The kind that drew people to traverse a room, to awkwardly fiddle as they suddenly awaken to the fact that that was a moment.

Most of me enjoys this tremendously, with high hopes that it can go on. A small part worries that this balance is too subtle, the line too powdery thin, and that the scale would too-soon tip over, before we even suspect it.

Points of UST

For some reason these guys always come in groups of three, yes?

1. Very different walk of life (with beyond-fascinating stories), significant age gap, not at all what I've believed to be my cup of tea, yet the best and quickest rapport out of anyone I've met in a long time. I can open up about anything; trust solid as gold.

2. As previously mentioned, Phil-esque. Age gap is smaller but still surprisingly significant, and, more importantly, turns out to be already married. I'm disturbed that this is even persisting on this list, and have been trying to keep distance once I became aware. But unfortunately...

3. About a year and half younger with a pleasant face and the body type of a female supermodel. Extremely interesting to explore (and make fun of). Good overlap in music and political stance.

Fortunately, 2 is not a problem. 3 probably would have interesting potential if not for 1. And 1...I'm both scared and interested to see where this could eventually go. Three years.